The Dress The Dress The Dress
The dress is always the part of being a bridesmaid that I dread the most. I am tall, I am not skinny, and I have big boobs. I was gonna try to come up with some round about way to elude to that, but what’s the point? I’ve got big boobs and if that makes you uncomfortable, that’s your problem. It does make me uncomfortable, though, in most popular necklines.
As I say in every one of these posts, this is not your day so keep your opinions about most things to yourself. The bridesmaid dress; however, is the one time I encourage you to speak up. You, after all, will be the one wearing it, and need to be as comfortable with your look as possible. That being said; however, let’s try to not be confrontational about it.
Luckily there has been a trend the last decade or so of the bride picking the color, then allowing the bridesmaids to get a dress of their choosing in that color. This is best cast scenario. I am totally here for this trend, as it allows everyone to get the dress they feel the best in. If you are lucky enough to have a bride going with this look, definitely keep your opinions on the color to yourself. If she wants you in Baby Shit Yellow, you find the most flattering Baby Shit Yellow dress you can.
If the bride decides to go the ‘everyone in the same dress’ route, there are ways to go about making your opinions be heard. If you are all going shopping together, try to get your wants and needs out in the open up front. Don’t wait until everyone is in the fitting room to reveal you hate an empire waistline. Brides, try to have pre-shopping meeting, or even group text, to let everyone get this stuff off their chest.
Do not; however, be that bridesmaid with a list of limitations a mile long and do not be the stubborn one. “I don’t do strapless, I don’t do pink, I don’t do floor length, and I definitely don’t do satin” then girl, bye. Try being a little softer with your limitations. Straight up, I don’t do strapless either, and I’ve let every bride know with a simple “I’d like to avoid a strapless dress if we can. Being a well endowed lady, it will make for a night of me constantly tugging up on that bitch”. Boom. And if the bride hasalso got some tig ol’ bitties, she will completely understand.
Worst case scenario: You’re the out of town bridesmaid who doesn’t get to go shopping and is just told to go to David’s Bridal, get dress #001537 in Mint Green. Guess what: oh well. Make. It. Work. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but it ain’t your day and it doesn’t matter if you don’t like the giant bow on your ass. Suck it up, buttercup.
All this being said, find yourself a good seamstress. Alterations will be your best friend.
