Mother is always right, right?
The mother of the bride. I’ve heard horror stories that she can be worse than the bride sometimes when it comes to wedding planning and wanting things done her way. Most of the time, she is expressing her daughter’s wishes, but there’s also the mom that may look at this as an opportunity for a re-do on her wedding or even to get the wedding she never had. I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist.
First order of business is finding out if that’s what the bride really wants. If her mom is genuinely speaking on her behalf, then there’s really not much to do. There is the possibility; however, that her mom is over-stepping her boundaries and the bride isn’t sure how to stand her ground.
My advice to any bridesmaid would be, if at all possible, to say the fuck out of it. Not only are the bride’s parent’s most likely footing the bill for this whole shindig, but inserting yourself in family drama doesn’t always go well. Encourage your friend to stand up for herself as much as you can, and as much as she’s comfortable with. Help or try run interference without ruffling too many feathers. We all hope, and assume, that a mother has her daughter’s best interest in mind, but we all know that’s not often the case.
If the bride is your sister, meaning her mama is yo mama too, you may have a little more of an advantage. I don’t have a sister (thank god), so I know very little about this very very strange dynamic. My advice would be to act as the mediator as much as possible, or stick up for your sister when you can. This is her day, and maybe one day she will get to return the favor. If either party is being unreasonable, do your best to remain neutral. Sisters be crazy, though.
If you have a feeling this may become an issue, this could be one of the reasons you choose to say no to being in the bridal party. If you think that the mother will be pushing back every step of the way and you don’t see yourself being able to hold your tongue, it may be best to quit while you’re ahead. Hey, I haven’t always gotten along with my best friend’s mom, and we even got into it a little about her shower, but I knew to back off ASAP as my name was going to be on none of those checks.
This bit of advice doesn’t really feel like advice, but I’m not sure what else to say. Again, this is the bride’s day, so if she want’s her mom completely involved in the whole planning process, borderline taking it over, that is her prerogative.
