It’s an honor…
To get asked to be someone’s Maid of Honor is a pretty big deal. It’s also a pretty big responsibility. It is your sole duty to make sure the bride has as smooth a time as ever from the day she asks you until the big day, and maybe even until she sets off on her honeymoon. I’ve been given this honor twice (well, twice officially. I’ve been asked three times) but both brides were very different, so I have a good idea of the range of possibilities that could arise.
You are the liaison between the bride and the bridesmaids, even if you don’t know them very well. Set up group texts, group emails, group facebook…groups… whatever you gotta do to get everyone on the same page. You’ll be communicating the brides wishes, and putting out any fires that may spark up.
That all being said; DELAGATE. I was a maid of honor in a wedding being planned locally in WNY, but the bride lived in San Diego. She wanted to have her bachelorette in Vegas or LA, so I delegated most, if not all, the planning to the bridesmaids who also lived on the west coast. I put my credit card up for the booking of the Air BNB, but that was about it, they handled all the rest. They nailed it too, it was a great weekend.
In my many weddings, I have thankfully yet to encounter a ‘bridezilla’ (I hate this term with my whole heart), but I can tell you that dealing with the bride is a lot like dealing with a child. Ya gotta tell them what they want to hear, and leave out anything they don’t. Have a bridesmaid that hates her dress? Do your best to run interference and make sure it doesn’t get back to the bride. Have a bridesmaid that wants to back out of the festivities? Pay her way and set up a payment plan so she can pay you back. Ok, so issues may not be as big as paying someone’s way to a full weekend get away bachelorette in Los Angeles, but you get the idea. You’re the goalie, the defense, the… another sports reference…
Honestly, some brides want to handle and plan all the details, even the shower and bachelorette. That’s cool too, then your job is to help in whatever way you can.
If you’re partaking in any of the other planning; wedding dress shopping, cake tasting, venue scouting, it’s best to keep your harshest opinions to yourself. If you must share, it’s best to agree first. Something like “Oh, I like that, but I was at a wedding where they did that and it was a disaster”. Make it seem like her idea is great and original, but give her legitimate reasons why it won’t work. “That dress looks amazing on you, but a girl we graduated with just wore the same one and it washed her out in pictures and I don’t want that happening to you”. Don’t ever make her feel like an idea is bad, she’s only been thinking about this day since she met this guy, if not longer (Anyone sensing a theme to all my blogs here? Maid of honor or just lowly bridesmaid; it is not your fucking day. It’s the bride’s and if you don’t like it, see yourself out).
Day of, I would recommend having an emergency kit put together (this can be delegated to a bridesmaid as well, but just make sure it’s done). Put it together under the guise that what can go wrong, will go wrong. Stain removers, safety pins, needle and thread, antacids, Tylenol, tissues, a lint roller, band aids, smelling salts… Better to have and not need than to need and not have. Whatever happens, act as if it’s not big deal. Even if it is a big deal, like a missing groomsman or a rip in her mom’s dress, it’s nothing and you’re handling it. Do not bother her with ANYTHING.
Most of all, make sure she has fun on her big day! And also, make sure she eats! No one likes a sloppy, drunk bride. Well, some people do, but as the maid of honor it’s your job to say ‘Oh no, not today, Satan’.
